The Power of Deep Brokenness
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16)
It's easy for me to know I have weaknesses. It's not hard to remember my brokenness. Those parts of me that drag me under, torment me, fail me... how can I forget them? I sometimes wish they could be ignored, but ignoring our brokenness is like ignoring a cancer. We can pretend not to notice, but ultimately, eventually, our weakness will rise to the surface and reap destruction on us and those around us.
It's our nature to try and hide our shortcomings and sins, but this isn't the way our Savior Jesus calls us to live. He is our Great High Priest, our advocate, our atonement. One beautiful thing about the Gospel is that when we allow Jesus to direct our lives, He carries the weight of our brokenness for us. This doesn't mean that we hide it... it means we hold it out to Him so He can take it from us. This is a struggle. Holding out those things that I'm ashamed of can make me feel like an exposed nerve. It feels painful and scary, something that I want to be over as quickly as possible.
What does it mean to put 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 into effect, boasting gladly of our weaknesses and being content with the bearing of burdens? I know I have the tendency to want to surrender my broken parts to Jesus, get that over with, and move on as quickly as I can, without letting anyone in on how weak or how broken I truly am in my spirit. Even as I write this, I'm convicted about how prideful I am in those desires. It's so much easier, so much safer to wipe the slate clean and pretend I was never stained by anything too terrible. Because really, I want to look righteous all on my own. I want the big, dark things to stay comfortably tucked away for the sole purpose of appearing more put together than I really am. But if this is how I contend with my weaknesses, how can I boast gladly in them? How can the power of Christ rest upon me, being perfected in my broken spirit? If I refuse to be bold in letting others in on the "secret" of my deep brokenness, how much less will that same brokenness be used by God for powerful things?
Great bravery is often required to release the over-protective grip on our own darkness. Bravery which I rarely, if ever, have. It doesn't need to look like a super-public testimony or a social media confession of the thing you carry with the most shame. It does need to look like honesty, and begins with our relationship with the Lord. It looks like drawing near His throne of grace with confidence. Confidence, and not arrogance. Confidence because we know He's intimately familiar with our darkest parts, but holds the weight of it for us in such great joy and love so that we can have fellowship with Him. Our bravery comes from knowing that the darkest corners of our hearts are no longer shadowy and shameful when filled with His mercy and grace. This is where our strength comes from. This is how our weakness turns into the death-defeating power of Jesus Christ.
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16)
It's easy for me to know I have weaknesses. It's not hard to remember my brokenness. Those parts of me that drag me under, torment me, fail me... how can I forget them? I sometimes wish they could be ignored, but ignoring our brokenness is like ignoring a cancer. We can pretend not to notice, but ultimately, eventually, our weakness will rise to the surface and reap destruction on us and those around us.
It's our nature to try and hide our shortcomings and sins, but this isn't the way our Savior Jesus calls us to live. He is our Great High Priest, our advocate, our atonement. One beautiful thing about the Gospel is that when we allow Jesus to direct our lives, He carries the weight of our brokenness for us. This doesn't mean that we hide it... it means we hold it out to Him so He can take it from us. This is a struggle. Holding out those things that I'm ashamed of can make me feel like an exposed nerve. It feels painful and scary, something that I want to be over as quickly as possible.
What does it mean to put 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 into effect, boasting gladly of our weaknesses and being content with the bearing of burdens? I know I have the tendency to want to surrender my broken parts to Jesus, get that over with, and move on as quickly as I can, without letting anyone in on how weak or how broken I truly am in my spirit. Even as I write this, I'm convicted about how prideful I am in those desires. It's so much easier, so much safer to wipe the slate clean and pretend I was never stained by anything too terrible. Because really, I want to look righteous all on my own. I want the big, dark things to stay comfortably tucked away for the sole purpose of appearing more put together than I really am. But if this is how I contend with my weaknesses, how can I boast gladly in them? How can the power of Christ rest upon me, being perfected in my broken spirit? If I refuse to be bold in letting others in on the "secret" of my deep brokenness, how much less will that same brokenness be used by God for powerful things?
Great bravery is often required to release the over-protective grip on our own darkness. Bravery which I rarely, if ever, have. It doesn't need to look like a super-public testimony or a social media confession of the thing you carry with the most shame. It does need to look like honesty, and begins with our relationship with the Lord. It looks like drawing near His throne of grace with confidence. Confidence, and not arrogance. Confidence because we know He's intimately familiar with our darkest parts, but holds the weight of it for us in such great joy and love so that we can have fellowship with Him. Our bravery comes from knowing that the darkest corners of our hearts are no longer shadowy and shameful when filled with His mercy and grace. This is where our strength comes from. This is how our weakness turns into the death-defeating power of Jesus Christ.
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