Being Single
I'll have to admit... being single is hard. And I feel like that's saying something, especially given the fact that I've never not been single. How can that be? It's probably one of the only things in life that lack of change makes harder, at least for me. I really am not someone who loves change. I like the idea of it, but once some dramatic life-altering thing comes along, my world collapses a little bit. But, how can I say being single is hard? I don't even have anything to compare it to. And I'm sure being non-single is even more challenging, or so I've heard.
People have asked me for relationship advice before. I find this slightly ironic. Me, of all people? I often end up surprising myself with the advice I give, though. At least to me, it seems mostly helpful. Or at least true. Maybe I'm just good at seeing people and their struggles and lives... I just haven't had the good old time of experiencing those trials. But I want to! Is that weird? I want to, just once, cry my eyes out over a breakup, or ask questions about dating, or what to wear, or how to talk about boundaries. Since I've never had the opportunity to do this, I feel it's so late, too late to start. Like I'd freak people out if I suddenly started talking about boys. Men. In high school they were boys. I apparently never went through that stage, so now they are men (hopefully) and it just is interesting rolling off my tongue. Or off my keyboard. It's something that I didn't really feel the need to talk about in high school, and now, even though my relationship status is perpetually single and nothing seems to be even on the horizon, as much as I long for that, I just wish it wouldn't be so awkward! I wish I could rant about how my heart aches sometimes for some kind of relationship, but I've never had that rant, other than to God. It shouldn't be awkward! It's normal!
I wish it wasn't such a strange subject in our society, being single. Half of the people wonder why you aren't dating (or what's so wrong with you that you've never been on a date. Not even once.) and the other half want to high-five you for being independent for life. Life is a journey. Your whole existence and motto for being human doesn't have to be fully established by the time you're 22. I don't want to be that independent, especially not for my whole life. Yes, I want someone to do life with, and face the struggles with, and raise a family with. But that person is not the one who's making me dependent. If I'm doing things right, and I really hope I am, God is the one I share my heart and soul with. He is the one that should make me dependent, and dependent on Him alone. But that doesn't mean marriage is something to take the place of God. Our anchor is Jesus Christ, not a spouse, but that doesn't mean we can't help one another hold onto that anchor. I really haven't been to a marriage conference or anything. I don't know anything about the romance of relationships. I only know God, and am learning more and more about HIS heart, and through His, mine.
This spurt of a relationship rambling is really nothing anyone in my immediate circle ever hears me talk about. It's actually giving me a little anxiety just typing it. (Honestly. I'm now proof-reading this post and still kind of freaking out about publishing. WHY?) Usually, all these thoughts just stay in my head, and now they are about to enter the black hole of the web, to be visible to all. (Just think about that the next time you post something mean online.) I've been spurred on by Christmas... those holidays, man, they always turn me into even more of a romantic than I normally am, and to deal with those December longings, I read 1 Corinthians 7 tonight. Seriously, go read it. Single or not. Married. Whatever. Everything about that chapter is awesome. God doesn't call us to be single. And He doesn't call us to get married and start popping out kids. If you are dying to be in a relationship, God can use that, and He does. If you are sick and tired of being in a relationship, God can use that, and He does. The punch line: God can use you!
Also, side note: Last post I said that peace was the opposite of boredom. This is why. Peace, at least true peace, comes from God. From His glory and goodness and the way He cares for us. From the way He makes us brave and not fearing tomorrow, because He has overcome the world and all it's tribulations. From Christ's magnificence comes our peace. Because of that peace, we have freedom. Salvation gives us freedom from sin. Peace gives us freedom from the world, and all it's troubles. We are free to explore and learn without fear, because God is our peace. We are free to fall in love, even if there's a risk of heartbreak, because God will always be there. Our constant peace. It's not simply a place that is relaxing, with birds chirping or waves crashing or the smell of pine trees. That is a peaceful place, where we can rest. Rest helps us see peace, like lifting the veil. And once we see that, we can go out into the crazy world, wearing His peace like a superhero cape, and take on everything it throws at us.
And what's so boring about that?
People have asked me for relationship advice before. I find this slightly ironic. Me, of all people? I often end up surprising myself with the advice I give, though. At least to me, it seems mostly helpful. Or at least true. Maybe I'm just good at seeing people and their struggles and lives... I just haven't had the good old time of experiencing those trials. But I want to! Is that weird? I want to, just once, cry my eyes out over a breakup, or ask questions about dating, or what to wear, or how to talk about boundaries. Since I've never had the opportunity to do this, I feel it's so late, too late to start. Like I'd freak people out if I suddenly started talking about boys. Men. In high school they were boys. I apparently never went through that stage, so now they are men (hopefully) and it just is interesting rolling off my tongue. Or off my keyboard. It's something that I didn't really feel the need to talk about in high school, and now, even though my relationship status is perpetually single and nothing seems to be even on the horizon, as much as I long for that, I just wish it wouldn't be so awkward! I wish I could rant about how my heart aches sometimes for some kind of relationship, but I've never had that rant, other than to God. It shouldn't be awkward! It's normal!
I wish it wasn't such a strange subject in our society, being single. Half of the people wonder why you aren't dating (or what's so wrong with you that you've never been on a date. Not even once.) and the other half want to high-five you for being independent for life. Life is a journey. Your whole existence and motto for being human doesn't have to be fully established by the time you're 22. I don't want to be that independent, especially not for my whole life. Yes, I want someone to do life with, and face the struggles with, and raise a family with. But that person is not the one who's making me dependent. If I'm doing things right, and I really hope I am, God is the one I share my heart and soul with. He is the one that should make me dependent, and dependent on Him alone. But that doesn't mean marriage is something to take the place of God. Our anchor is Jesus Christ, not a spouse, but that doesn't mean we can't help one another hold onto that anchor. I really haven't been to a marriage conference or anything. I don't know anything about the romance of relationships. I only know God, and am learning more and more about HIS heart, and through His, mine.
This spurt of a relationship rambling is really nothing anyone in my immediate circle ever hears me talk about. It's actually giving me a little anxiety just typing it. (Honestly. I'm now proof-reading this post and still kind of freaking out about publishing. WHY?) Usually, all these thoughts just stay in my head, and now they are about to enter the black hole of the web, to be visible to all. (Just think about that the next time you post something mean online.) I've been spurred on by Christmas... those holidays, man, they always turn me into even more of a romantic than I normally am, and to deal with those December longings, I read 1 Corinthians 7 tonight. Seriously, go read it. Single or not. Married. Whatever. Everything about that chapter is awesome. God doesn't call us to be single. And He doesn't call us to get married and start popping out kids. If you are dying to be in a relationship, God can use that, and He does. If you are sick and tired of being in a relationship, God can use that, and He does. The punch line: God can use you!
Also, side note: Last post I said that peace was the opposite of boredom. This is why. Peace, at least true peace, comes from God. From His glory and goodness and the way He cares for us. From the way He makes us brave and not fearing tomorrow, because He has overcome the world and all it's tribulations. From Christ's magnificence comes our peace. Because of that peace, we have freedom. Salvation gives us freedom from sin. Peace gives us freedom from the world, and all it's troubles. We are free to explore and learn without fear, because God is our peace. We are free to fall in love, even if there's a risk of heartbreak, because God will always be there. Our constant peace. It's not simply a place that is relaxing, with birds chirping or waves crashing or the smell of pine trees. That is a peaceful place, where we can rest. Rest helps us see peace, like lifting the veil. And once we see that, we can go out into the crazy world, wearing His peace like a superhero cape, and take on everything it throws at us.
And what's so boring about that?
Comments
Post a Comment